


Together

by jadesolo



Category: Agents of SHIELD - Fandom, Marvel, fitzsimmons - Fandom
Genre: F/M, annnnd it's angst. pure angst, minor spoilers for aou, this is just a repost from my tumblr blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4961773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadesolo/pseuds/jadesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the events of Age of Ultron, and the team being forced to work with Ward again, Fitz wanders down a lonely hallway at the Playground, only to hear sobbing from a rather familiar bunk....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together

Fitz was amazed by how quiet the Playground was in the dead of night. There were hardly any rustle of agents in the hallways, shocking considering how their numbers had doubled recently, despite their mysterious loyalties to the ‘real’ S.H.I.E.L.D.  


He hadn’t been able to sleep in days. Everything that had happened kept replaying in his head. S.H.I.E.L.D falling all around him again, being separated from Jemma once more, the faint hope that maybe things were getting better between them, all culminating in the unfortunate news of Ultron’s rise, and eventual fall.  
Despite their mistrust of one another, that day both fractions of S.H.I.E.L.D had joined each other to watch the news footage of the Avengers’ fight against Ultron and his army of robots. Fitz recognized a majority of the Avengers, but there were three new ones that he didn’t recognize; a girl with long dark hair, weaving red balls of energy from her hands, a man that could turn into a grayish-blue blur at a seconds’ notice, and a tall, reddish (nearly plum) colored humanoid figure that Fitz was absolutely certain had Thor’s hammer in his hand at one point.  
Between all the excitement, and their mission with Ward of all people, Fitz was exhausted. But every time he fell asleep, for some horrible reason all he saw was Jemma yelling at him furiously, and as she dissolved he saw Skye, unable to control her powers, and the Playground crumbling into dust….  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a sob, echoing from somewhere within one of the rooms. Given everything that had happened recently, he would’ve shrugged it off, but he recognized the tone of the sob almost as well as he’d recognize his own voice.  
Instantly, his feet moved of their own accord, taking him almost against his will to her door. As he reached for the handle, he froze, wondering if this was overstepping any boundaries. Their friendship was like fractured glass at the moment, ready to shatter at any moment.  
But as he heard another sob echo from her room, the thought of her sitting in her room alone in the dark crying was too much for him, and he gently rapped his knuckles against the door. The sobs quieted instantly, but he could still hear them. She didn’t reply, and as he began to wonder if perhaps he should just leave (he’d never step foot into her bedroom without permission for god’s sake, he wouldn’t even have stepped into Skye’s room with her permission), he heard a very small, muffled voice say, “Yes?”  
While to anyone else, that wouldn’t have been enough to grant permission to enter, Fitz had known Jemma since she was eighteen years old and knew that 'yes’ was often enough for him to be allowed inside. So carefully he slipped into the room, and was mildly surprised to see complete darkness. While, yes, he had imagined her to be alone in the dark, he hadn’t really expected it to be the case. Even all electronics were off, including her TV, which she sometimes kept on at night when she couldn’t sleep.  
Taking a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, Fitz became acutely aware of his surroundings: the furniture that surrounded him, the bed in front of him and the huddled up figure sitting in the middle of it, her knees huddled up to her chin, and her face hidden behind her arms.  
There were few times when Leopold Fitz saw his best friend look small. He remembered the time when a girl in the same year as them at the Academy forced them to do karaoke; at the very thought of performing in such a large crowd had made Jemma shrink away. Then again when she was infected with the Chitauri virus, right before she jumped…a memory that Fitz forced away whenever he thought about it.  
He also remembered how small she’d looked when he woke from his coma. To him, it had felt like it’d been maybe five minutes since they were at the bottom of the ocean. But there were subtle differences that made him realize otherwise. The bags under her eyes, eyes that were too red; a stubble appearing on his chin. The soreness in his legs from not moving for so long.  
But nothing, none of that seemed to compare to how small Jemma Simmons looked in that moment. “J-Jemma?”  
The sobbing quieted again, and Jemma’s head popped out from behind her arms. Her eyes were puffy, and her eyeliner and mascara had run down her face, leaving dark streaks that Fitz noticed even in the dark.  
“Can I, um, sit?” Fitz stammered, pointing to the spot beside her. Jemma nodded weakly, and Fitz sat down in the space next to her. He remembered a time when he could say nothing at all and comfort her, but it wasn’t as easy as of late. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around her and she leaned into him, her head falling into the crook of his shoulder, her own still shaking from sobs. There was a long silence, and Fitz’s unasked question lingered in the air. When Jemma finally spoke, Fitz nearly jumped, having thought for a while that perhaps she’d fallen asleep.  
“I-I….” she hiccuped before continuing, “I was going to stop Ward-while…while they were rescuing Mike, and….then Bakshi…he attacked me, and I-” she began sobbing again, and Fitz felt his heart plummet. What she had said about Bakshi being gone….how distraught she’d been on the ride back……it was all making sense now.  
“Jemma-”  
“Please don’t say anything, Fitz. I couldn’t-couldn’t bring myself to tell the rest of the team.” Tears were still streaming down her face, but there was a conviction in her voice, as if she truly believed that the team would hate her for what she’d done, rather or not it had been in self-defense.  
“A-and Ward, he….that monster said he was disappointed in me.” Her voice was raising in pitch, anger clouding her words. “Me?” Her words were tumbling now, freely like dominoes hitting one after the other. “After everything he’s done. After all the people he killed…in cold blood. I’ll never forgive him what he did to us.”  
Fitz froze, and Jemma seemed to realize at the same instant as he did that neither of them had really spoken about what had happened until now. Fitz glanced down at her, only to realize she was looking at him too, an unreadable expression on her face.  
Instantly, they spoke at once.  
“I’m sorry-”  
“Fitz, I’m so sorry-”  
“I was an idiot and a jerk-”  
“I thought leaving would help-”  
“And you were trying your best-”  
“And you got better, but everything went wrong-”  
“And I am so sorry,” they finished together. Somehow, despite everything, Jemma managed to smile. But as soon as it happened, it disappeared.  
“Fitz?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Don’t ever let this happen to you,” she whispered, looking at her hands in disgust. “I think…part of me understands why specialists are so detached. I think it would help.”  
Fitz felt his stomach flop. The thought of Jemma becoming a detached, cold hearted specialist broke his heart. He remembered how excited she’d been the day they joined Coulson’s team. She’d practically dragged him onto the Bus. And despite their bickering the whole way, she’d been smiling the entire morning.  
But instantly, an icy claw seemed to grab at his insides, burdening him with guilt he’d been repressing. After a moment of trying to speak he found his voice, “I can’t, Jemma.”  
“Can’t what?” Her face was full of confusion, staring up at him. The look in her eyes nearly killed him. There was something gone from them.  
Her optimism.  
“I-I um…back at the Hub, when Hydra took over….there was a Hydra agent and he was about to kill May. There was a gun in my hand-and I-” he lost his voice and instantly looked away as he heard Jemma gasp.  
“Fitz, why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Because I thought you’d hate me,” Fitz answered quickly. “Because…because I hated myself for it. It…it destroys a part of you I think. And…despite everything, I haven’t been able to repair it. And… I thought you knew.”  
“How could I have known, Leo?” Jemma asked, her voice soft.  
“You were watching the feed…with Hand.”  
“I heard a gun go off, but I didn’t see who fired it. I thought maybe-I’d turned around and the shot went off….any of you could’ve died. You could’ve died, Fitz.”  
“Jemma-” suddenly he had a feeling they weren’t talking about the Hub anymore. Jemma started to say something and stopped midway. After a moment of silence, she whispered, “Can all of this just stop?”  
“All of what?” Fitz inquired.  
“The fighting, Fitz. Not the S.H.I.E.L.D., that probably won’t end for a long time, but…us. I know it won’t go back to how it used to be. We’re both different now, but-”  
“So long as we’re together,” Fitz interjected. Jemma looked up at hm, breaking into a smile.  
“Together,” she agreed. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. After a moment, she pulled away. “Could you…” her voice faltered for a moment. “Could you stay? For the night?”  
Fitz nodded, giving her a warm smile. It was the first real smile he’d had in ages. “Yeah. Of course.”  
“Thank you, Fitz."


End file.
